I am Wowed by God

 

I am so excited about what God is doing in my heart and I want to tell you about it! 

I have had some crazy days with many God sightings in the last couple of weeks.  There have been sleepless nights, fears, tears, convictions, joys, smiles, laughs, times of growing and stretching, and many memories. 

I was at Roxbury Holiness Camp at the beginning of August with my family and I think God was preparing me mentally and spiritually for what I would experience the rest of the month.  I had an awesome time of reconnecting with friends and soaking in God’s truths. 

Victor and I are both excited about missions and feel that God is calling us in that direction.  So the Monday after Roxbury we went to the mission office to talk about the MDP (Missionary Development Program) and missions.  Afterword I asked the question that I knew the answer to but was never voiced, “When you say you want to do missions, do you mean long term?”  “Yes.”….

Now I am going to be completely honest with you and say that I felt like crying (and I later did).  I had fears, and lots of them.  And I had the American dream.  I really don’t like the American dream (at all!) but as a little girl you get these ideas of the “perfect” life and it is hard to let them go.  I know that I would not be happy with living out the American dream because I would get restless.  I know there are better things to spend your time and money on, things that will glorify God.  But it was still hard for me to embrace that.

Now I am making it sound like I might not want to do missions and this is not the case!  I would love to do missions and I know that God has called me to that.  Those were just the first thoughts that went through my head when Victor and I both said, out loud, that we want to do long term missions.  That brings everything to a whole new level!  Makes it more real. 

We talked about this a lot, we cried, and we prayed.  It was then getting late and I needed to go home because I worked early the next morning.  We say, “Good night” and I am on my way home.  Little do I know what is around the next corner.  I was the first person to get to a one car, car accident.  There is just one guy in the car and it must have just happened.  My first thought was, “How can I get away from here?  Because this is scary!”  I am able to come to reason and make my first 911 call.  I don’t want to go into more details because it was an unsettling experience for me.  I later talked to an investigator and he said that the guy was released from the hospital that next morning and is doing fine.  He was also charged for DUI. 

But any way, that experience right after the long term missions conversation was a lot for my little mind to handle.  I was so afraid that night when I got home.  I talked to my mom for awhile but then she went to bed and I was the only one awake.  As I was lying in bed not sleeping I was experiencing fears I didn’t even know existed.  I want to describe it as crippling.  I was afraid of the dark (which I never was before) and I was afraid of being alone.  I was afraid of losing the people I love or being far away from them and doing life alone.   I was so afraid.

I was praying but it was really hard for me to feel comfort that night.  I had to remind myself that God was with me and that I will never be alone.  It is times like this where it comes in really handy to have some of the major truths memorized.

I have since then, with the help of my friend Jesus, been able to overcome most of my fears.  I still have some but I think they are healthy fears and I’m not too concerned about them.  So this was a big God sighting for me, overcoming fears. 

I have many more stories I would like to share with you but I must go to bed.  I will share them another day.

I want to encourage you because our God is a good God!  He is faithful and able to accomplish immeasurably more than we ask or can even imagine!  Think about that for a minute…. He can do more than we can even imagine!  I can’t even imagine that. :)